The first thing you should do when a loved one dies is grieve. Take your time. In most cases, there’s nothing urgent from a legal stance that must be done as quickly as possible. So take your time. Grieve. Breathe.

When you’re ready, try to uncover whether there is a will or a trust. If you’re not sure, you may have to go through the person’s stuff and things until you find it. Some people hide their wills or trusts, thinking that it needs to be in the most secure spot. What needs to be done and how it happens is going to be determined by whether there is a will or a trust or no document at all.

Start collecting mail. You’re looking for assets and debts: bank statements, bills, credit card statements, mortgage, water bill, electric bills, car information.

You should not distribute any of the person’s things and it’s likely you should not pay any bills.

If you haven’t, reach out to an attorney (like me) within about a month of the person’s death. The attorney will be able to guide you as to what needs to be done and when. The steps involved will be determined by the documents, as well as the assets and debts that the person had at the time of their passing.